Stress and The Cares of this World

We all deal differently with stress in our lives some may over eat, talk to much, gamble, use drugs, sex, and number of different ways to escape the pain we feel.  There are many cares which tae away my sight or the ability to see clearly the situation that I am currently in, yet when I am looking at Christ and seeing how he has made me it's all to clear that i am being lead.  When the distractions come into my range of sight and begin to pile up all around me, I can no longer function, and my wife whom I love deeply becomes a pest or annoyance rather than the gift; this goes both ways I become the flacky artist, she's the more structured and practical one.  Are differences are good and actually compliment one another when we are looking at God together, but again distractions make the beauty fade into dreary ugly non-functional parts.  Anyway we are still working through this accident and the effects of it on Cristi and I, what to do with the time given to us; how and what to do after Avant training in January.  And this I know God will work it all out and how it all came together I will not know, only that i went to sleep and woke up and it happened with out my forcing it to be.  Which leads me to just "Being" or resting in Christ Jesus, obeying those things he has brought to my attention the best I can and submiting to his will for my life!  I am very thankful for what I have the life I am living, my wife, the children given to us to raise, food in my belly, clothes on my body, shoes with our holes, a nice clean bed to sleep in.  There is so much be thankful for undoubtibly the faith given to me, and the Journey that I have been smuggled into; this adventure that I am not always thrilled to be in.  It's dangerous and scary there are many issues that surround us traversing life on this earth, friendships and communication with other human beings is not always easy.  I have not always done very well in every relationship given to me, many times I have acted unfairly toward others, I have been selfish with my own time especially in my relationship with my wife; but having deeply hurt each other and worked through forgiveness we have really invested allot into one another.  Having said this it's the only relationship that I have taken to the edge of life and have survived my words and actions, the only one tested past this one is the one I have with God; and he just keeps stickin  around.  Something about that "I'll never leave or forsake you bit"!  Which has bee proven true... Another day on this earth forgiven.....may you find favor in Christ and others today!

Stree

Difficult Times

We all go through difficult times and experience frustration, I received an e-mail from a friend living over seas as a missionary he was having difficulty with the cell phone card re-charging system.  He purchased $80.00 worth of mins for someone else's phone, that sucks he felt cheated when he went back to explain the situation there was nothing to be done.  He felt stupid, I have felt that same way whether my burn accident, or when we were in Rwanda trying to figure things out especially cell phones.  Texting was the cheapest way to communicate, but talking mins flew by even for just a short to the point conversation.  We all feel that we are failing in mistakes but I don't think that's how God looks at it, I think the failure is how react after and what we do with the situation and even then may not be a failure if we learn from it.  As we learn to negotiate this life as prisoner's of gravity, God is for us helping us to do well; He hasn't set us up for failure!  No but there is  a being who wants us to believe that and to not trust in God because there are mistake or the possibility for mistakes in the first place!

I myself have doubted God's goodness not just a few times, but daily I doubt all the good just because of my inability to see the truth in the situations I find myself in.  Now I hate pat answers too, and yet the answer is there is always goodness even when it sucks.  I also hate it when it sucks and fail more than I ever see myself win, yet I continue maybe like Abram; i'll be in my 90's before I am a righteous man.

May we find the hope we need for today. 

I was burned with fire October 16th

It's been a month an a half since I was burned in a boiler flash fire, and yet emotionally I am picking up the pieces to my experience I don't personal know where to begin.  I am an artist and yet there is no work currently happening to fuel the journey out of darkness, the muscles of creativity are just plan on holiday and too much of not be in touch with humor has taken it's toll.  I do have a level of joy and contentment, for I am happy to be alive that is for certain, yet there is this wanting more of life and to the full that I am for, seeking after a way out this darkness the valley of the shadow of death or the dark night of my sole.  Saint John of the cross wrote of his own darkness and his journey through it, but it's been several years since I read those words they aren't even memories now.  I am currently reading my New Testament in Biblical Hebrew, the Gospel of John it's most helpful these days, seeing Jesus be so gracious to those who were so desperate for his grace, the grace of God to touch them in their lives.  With a rag tag bunch of misfits following him, not to clever, or of superior speech, not learned men, yet they changed the world because of what he invested both in them and the gift of the Holy Spirit who is God!  My hope though in a darkness of sorts, is that though it sucks I know he will get me through this whole thing and thats okay with me.  My children have been through this whole ordeal too, the accident first then having to move to another state, dealing with change hasn't been easy for them or for us yet we are pressing forward.  I am glad to be alive this is for sure and it's all we have for sure, either we are alive or we are dead there isn't anything between.  And as for me and my house hold we will serve the Lord.